Who’s Helping Austin #2

2009 May 11
by hurricanehayly
Spoon

Spoon

Austin is widely known as the live music capital of the world and thus everyone and their grandma are either in a band, manage a band, promote bands or work somewhere within the music industry. Austin is home to a wide range of homegrown (or Austin naturalized) musicians from indie folk to rap metal. Yes, it is true that we have a vibrant music scene but it is also true that there are many crummy bands out there. It seems like any dude with a guitar or chick with a half good voice is trying to “make it”. Simply put, Austin is not L.A. We love the fact that musicians from around the world have come here hoping to inspire the musical world with their talent but considering many of them suck its best to cut the fat. So once we knock off the rockstar wanna-bes and groupie-turned-lead-singers we are left with the good meaty musical center.
I’m of course talking about Austin’s own Spoon. Since 1993, Spoon has released six full albums, five EPS, and has, of course, appeared on PBS’s Austin City Limits. Founders Britt Daniels (singer/guitarist) and Jim Eno (drummer) came out with their first album on local Peek-A-Boo records in 1994 along with the original line-up of Greg Wilson (guitar) and Andy McGuire (bass). They were soon after signed to Matador Records where they produced Telephone in 1996 and then Soft Effects in 1997 which were both relatively successful albums on the indie scale. After garnishing some major label attention the band left Matador and signed with Elektra to release A Series of Sneaks. Unfortunately the album did not sell as well as the media moguls hoped and they were soon dropped from that label in 1998. During this time Andy McGuire and Greg Wilson left the band and soon after Joshua Zarbo (bassist) joined as well as Eric Harvey. After Zarbo left in 2007, Rob Pope picked up the reigns as bassist.
Spoon’s earlier albums are a classic tale of a band coming into their own. At this time, Britt Daniels was still trying to realize his own musical genius as well as trying to form together the right mesh of talent to not only help communicate his own vision but also conscribe inspiration from others who were as equally talented. When the band finally starting getting commercial success it became pretty obvious that they weren’t too concerned with maintaining the same sound that got them fame; if you listen to Kill the Moonlight and then Gimme Fiction you could hardly tell it was the same band except for Britt’s distinctive voice.
Spoon is ever evolving and never disappointing. They blend every aspect of music from horn to eletronic keyboard and beyond into one deeply inspiring genre that they can call their own. Here at Stay Out Of Austin we often get criticism for saying that people shouldn’t move here for the music scene because they think they’re talented but really just create noise pollution. I think that Spoon is a great example of great musicians from different places (Spoon’s line-up comes from Kansas, Denton, Galveston as well as Austin) to meet in a city that can facilitate their talents and create an environment for some really creative collaborations.
So thanks Spoon for helping us keep out faith in Austin!

Texas can now safely secede…

2009 April 17
by stayoutofaustin

…because CHUCK NORRIS WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF TEXAS IF WE DO.  Disregard everything I said about our borders being hard to protect – they’re in roundhouse kick range.

I know this is completely irrelevant to what this blog is supposed to be about, but I can’t resist.

Let. This. Happen.

I don’t know how I missed the fact that Chuck Norris has a column, but he does, and he wrote about this early last month.  His offer to be our president:

On Glenn Beck’s radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, “I may run for president of Texas.”

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

The only part that troubles me is that he says “if not me, someone someday.”  Can we please get a committment here, Chuck?  Like, a concrete promise that you WILL be our president?  Because if you can give us that, we obviously don’t need to be dragging our feet about the whole secession thing.

Here’s part of his interchange with Glenn Beck:

if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won’t stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up.” Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, “And where’s that going to come from?” He answered his own question, “Texas, it’s going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?” I replied, “Oh yeah!” Definitely.

The whole column is here: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91103.  Is anyone else really surprised that Chuck Norris knows all this history?  Is he like…smart?  Of course, he doesn’t have to read about all this history, he just looks at books until he gets the information he wants out of them.  Must be nice.

If we secede, and get Chuck Norris to be our president, and make him cry…we alone will have the rights to the cure for cancer.  Economic WIN.

Rick Perry – Making me hate him marginally less

2009 April 16
by stayoutofaustin

So Rick Perry told CNN that Texas totally might secede if it gets pissy enough.  Which makes me really happy.  Because I’m all for a Texas secession except for one tiny thing – borders.  We have too many and it would just be TOO MUCH WORK to patrol them.  Because, obviously, we can’t have Oklahomans just strolling into the Republic of Texas.  Gross.

If Texas does secede, we should all vote to have the capital city changed to Houston, and then it will get all the publicity for being the capital and people will all move there! SOLUTION.  But we’ll keep the Capitol building, because it’s ours.

Excuse me but how EPIC would the Texas/OU game be if Texas SECEDED?  I can’t even think about it.

Here’s the CNN article: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/04/16/texas-governor-says-secession-possible/

Concealed Carry on Campus – Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?

2009 April 16
by stayoutofaustin

So, as most of you probably know, there is a bill on its way to the Texas House of Reps that would, if passed, make it legal for holders of concealed handgun licenses to bring their weapon on campus (right now they can’t).  There was a rally today at the Capitol where students gathered to protest the bill.  Proponents of the bill argue that allowed concealed carry on campus can prevent future gun voilence on the part of crazy people.  People against the bill, however, say that people could just snap at any moment and, if they have a gun, kill a teacher or another student.  There was an editorial in the Daily Texan about it by UT student Jeremy Burchard – here’s a quote (entire article here):

Though many licensed gun carriers are responsible people, a university is a place of action and emotion, and crimes of passion should be of primary concern for law enforcement.

I’m not entirely sure what is meant here by “crimes of passion,” but he seems to suggest that people with handguns on campus might murder a teacher over a poor grade:

A professor in the UT System, speaking on the basis of anonymity because of her state employee status, said this bill would directly affect her grading policy (UT faculty and staff, as state employees, are prohibited from speaking out for or against any bill). In knowing that her students would be permitted to be armed, the professor said she would be scared to grade fairly.

There are SO MANY comments about this editorial on the Daily Texan website (dailytexanonline.com).  Like, upwards of 40 (okay, 41 total).  It’s clearly an issue that tons of people feel strongly about.  Here’s a well thought-out response to the editorial and to another commenter.  It’s actually multiple comments from the same guy, another UT student, that I compiled so y’all could read them in chronological order.  I know, I know – you’re welcome.

I’ll say my piece before the DT starts blocking comments again followed by a witty post.

I thank Caleb for being one of the few people here who are actually willing to take into account both sides of the argument and take facts into consideration. It is a commendable trait and we definitely have a shortage of that type. If I may I would like to address some of your concerns:

” The freedom we have in America is not limitless; everybody operates within the constraints in the law because the government listens to the will of the majority, and occasionally the minority in civil rights and civil liberties cases.”

True, we do not have unlimited freedoms. But this begs the question: Where do we draw the line? Where is the point of equilibrium? From my perspective, if you take into account current Federal gun control laws as a whole, we’ve gone past the point of what I would deem to be an “acceptable” compromise for all Americans. While the scope of current laws are being widened (e.g concealed and open carry laws), the laws themselves are getting stricter (complete ban in the manufacturing and importing of certain guns that have little involvement in crime), and now D.C is talking about universal licensing and a ban on most semi-automatic guns.

There is another inherent problem that lies with the overused argument that “most students don’t want guns on campus” and using majority opinion to justify action. America’s principles do not lie in the notion of protecting majority opinion. In fact, the provisions in the Constitution serves to protect the MINORITY opinion. The 1st Amendment is not intended to protect speech that we all like. It is intended to protect speech that we DON’T like, and to protect dissent. So if we were to talk about principles, is it morally justified for the majority to infringe upon the liberties of a minority, with the premise being there is no empirical evidence to suggest that said liberty causes more harm than good? I hope to continue this conversation with you Caleb.

Now to pick on the article itself: “Though many licensed gun carriers are responsible people, a university is a place of action and emotion, and crimes of passion should be of primary concern for law enforcement.”

I have talked to Chief Dahlstrom during the UTPD “Be Safe” week, and he openly admitted that he believes there is no evidence to suggest that there will be statistically significant increase in violent crime on campus should campus carry pass. I have witnesses. =)

In any case, if our school was such a volatile environment as you claim to be, then why haven’t we seen “crimes of passion” take place with other weapons, such as knives and fists? If someone were to really want to use a gun to commit this “crime of passion”, what is a “No Guns Allowed” sign going to do to stop him/her?

“Being allowed to carry a gun on campus is dangerous not just because it would increase the prevalence of weapons on campus, but because it would change the overall atmosphere of the school.”

Would it? Have you asked the students in all public universities in Utah if their “learning environment” has been adversely affected ever since campus carry was allowed there? It would help to do some research as opposed to resorting to hypothetical scenarios.

Let’s change up your claim a tad bit: “Being allowed to carry a gun on ______ is dangerous not just because it would increase the prevalence of weapons on ______, but because it would change the overall atmosphere of the ______.” Replace the blanks with any of the following: Movie theater, bank, grocery store, The Capitol. This same argument was used against concealed-carry in general in the mid-90s. Considering the widespread adoption of concealed-carry in general, it’s pretty clear that this argument does not hold water.

“A professor in the UT System, speaking on the basis of anonymity because of her state employee status, said this bill would directly affect her grading policy (UT faculty and staff, as state employees, are prohibited from speaking out for or against any bill). In knowing that her students would be permitted to be armed, the professor said she would be scared to grade fairly.”

What rational reason would someone who has gone through the painstaking process of getting a CHL have in sacrificing it, his/her college education, and most of his/her life, over a relatively light matter as a test? It is on the verge of insult to assume that CHL holders are such naive, immature, emotionally volatile creatures. Again, what do current laws do to stop someone Hellbent on vengeance from committing that crime? Again, this doesn’t only affect students, but faculty as well. Let’s do suppose someone wants revenge on a teacher over a grade dispute. Would that person try to commit such an act knowing the TEACHER might be armed as well??

“And outside the classroom, though the bill would attempt to limit handguns at sporting events, it would not limit them from areas right outside the events, where the sinister combination of alcohol consumption and heated fan interaction can spark violence.”

This is again where your lack of research shows. CHL holders are prohibited from consuming alcohol while carrying, period.

I’ve got to go. If someone really wants to have a dialogue on this matter, I’m available on Facebook.

“There is a reason the 17 other states that brought up the issue all shot down the legislation.”
There’s also a reason 12 schools have allowed campus carry for years, without ANY incident to date.

Okay, first of all: “This is again where your lack of research shows. CHL holders are prohibited from consuming alcohol while carrying, period.”  ZING.

So what’s the verdict?  I think the second argument, the one made in the comments, is obviously much better articulated and coherent.  What are the repercussions of possibly legalizing concealed carry on Texas college campuses – are there any?  Do we really believe that people who are concerned enough with the law to get a concealed carry license are emotionally unstable enough to completely disregard the law and shoot up their teachers and peers?  Would legalizing campus carry adversely affect Austin as well as the rest of the state?

 

Rush Limbaugh moving to Austin? AW HELLLLL NO.

2009 April 10
by stayoutofaustin

It seems that Rush Limbaugh is considering a move to our fair city. And our governor is actively encouraging it. Story here: http://trailblazersblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/04/rick-perry-to-rush-limbaugh-co.html. Here’s a good editorial about it from The Daily Texan:

Viewpoint: Welcome Rush?

Abby Terrell

Daily Texan Columnist

Published: Friday, April 10, 2009

Texas is known for its southern hospitality. So it should come as no surprise that when conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh announced that he’s considering a move to Austin, Gov. Rick Perry personally contacted Limbaugh and encouraged the move. Limbaugh, who currently lives in New York, is sick of the state’s high taxes and wants respite from his hurricane-prone home in Florida. Perry thinks Austin would provide Limbaugh the perfect respite.

“I think Austin would be an awesome place for Rush Limbaugh,” Perry told Trail Blazers, a Dallas Morning News blog.

Maybe that’s not so true. While some may think it’s weird that Limbaugh, a vitriolic symbol of the political right, would consider moving to Austin, in reality, he might actually fit the bill. Consider recent Austin legislation.

Limbaugh is known for his vehement support of broad Second Amendment rights. Here in Austin, we like guns, too, and we may have to learn to live with them at UT. On Wednesday the House Committee on Public Safety approved a bill that would allow concealed-handgun-license holders to carry guns onto college campuses. Authored by state Rep. Joe Driver, R-Garland, the bill passed by a 5-to-3 vote and has 77 co-sponsors, making its passage semi-likely when it hits the House floor. Limbaugh, who has been quoted saying “You know why there’s a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one,” would undoubtedly approve.

Limbaugh would also find solidarity in the actions taken by several bars and restaurants that shut their doors in the wake of 40,000 visitors — most of them black — streaming in for the Clyde Littlefield Texas Relays last weekend. According to The Daily Texan, several businesses, including the Flamingo Cantina, a Sixth Street reggae club, and Highland Mall, either closed early or completely over the weekend, citing “safety and security of shoppers” as a concern. Limbaugh, who has said slavery “had its merits” because “the streets were safer after dark” ­— according to News One, an online news platform geared toward blacks — would likely support the businesses’ decisions.

Finally, Limbaugh, who has spoken out against the Iowa Supreme Court’s decision to allow gay marriages, wouldn’t have to worry about similar rights available in Austin. Although more than 300 universities in the country offer domestic partner benefits, the University is not one of them. UT employees’ same-sex spouses do not receive health care benefits on the grounds that Texas law prohibits these types of benefits extensions.

Yeah, Austin is getting weirder. But it has less to do with support for small businesses — the phrase’s original intention — and more to do with its conflicting actions and ideologies.

Sure, we vote blue, but in reality, the actions of many in our fair city too often do not back up its reputation.

Perry was right. Should Limbaugh move to Austin, he may just feel right at home.

Wow. Clearly Rick Perry should be atop the list of Austin’s supreme jerkalerks.  If the fiasco of his attempted mandate that every girl in the state get an HPV vaccine wasn’t enough to confirm the top honor, this most certainly is.  Check out this gem from good ol’ Rick:  “I think Austin would be an awesome place for Rush Limbaugh. You know, keep Austin weird. Isn’t that the city’s unofficial motto?”  Oooh, no he didn’t!

But seriously, you guys, poor Rush Limbaugh. The taxes in New York are sooo high - he’s super tired of it. And his multi-million dollar second home in Palm Beach is just NOT safe during hurricane season, y’all.

How long would he even be able to live here before people ran him out?

Matthew McConaughey: CLEAR WINNER(?) of Austin’s Douchiest Celeb Poll

2009 April 10
by stayoutofaustin

I have chosen this picture to illustrate the supreme douchiness of Matthew McConaughey. I think he’s really funny in the way he carries himself, but he’s starting to embarrass us a little bit. Jumping around the sidelines of the UT games shirtless is only funny once, Matthew. Allow me to enumerate the ways in which Matt is being a douche in this picture.

  • That glass full of water with lemon is from a restaurant. He is in a parking lot. He just stole it from the restaurant. Made it into his own personal to-go cup.
  • Shameless self-promotion – “jk livin” is his clothing line. I remember he went on Letterman or Leno one time and talked about it, how the flip flops were, like, really great.
  • He’s wearing a Livestrong bracelet, and Lance Armstrong is an even bigger douche than him, in my opinion. So that just brings his douche to a whole new level.
  • Is that a bongo with a broken top? A basket/bongo? What is wrong with it, and why does he have it with him in a parking lot?
  • UBER. WHITE. TEETH.

Things that I love about this picture, even though Matthew is starting to grate on me:

  • His beautiful tan.
  • His pretty face.
  • His shapely arms.

So, Matthew, we really do love you. We just urge you to limit yourself to two of the previous five douchey things at any given time.

Illegal U-turn much?

2009 April 9
by stayoutofaustin

University of Texas students *heart* crossing illegally. It’s not that we’re stupid (most of us were in the top 10%, omg, HOW could we be stupid??), it’s not that we don’t value our lives, it’s that we value our time. It’s important that we be able to leave our place of residence at the last possible minute and still get to class marginally on time. Most of us are smart enough to wait until the coast is clear to cross but, alas, many decide that that car like, HAS to stop for them, right? Right…?

So the other day as I was illegally crossing Dean Keeton, a man drove his car up the opposite side of the street, did an illegal u-turn, started driving toward me and other equally brilliant students crossing illegally, and then proceeded to look at us flabbergastedly, gesture his confusion, plaster the “omg I can’t believe they are so stupid” smirk across his face and clearly say to his passenger, “I just really want to…(mumblez).” 

Okay, dude. I get that you’re probably really frustrated because you have nothing better to do than drive down Dean Keeton at 10:30 on a weekday morning. You obviously have just been laid off by Dell, don’t have any measureable income, but yet refuse to downgrade your freakin’ SWEET apartment right by the lake, and are thus very stressed trying to make rent on an apartment you can no longer afford (luckily, that check you requested from your parents JUST CLEARED). You’re clearly taking out your disappointment in yourself on students with brighter futures than yours. It’s cool – I understand.

What I DON’T understand is why you think you can drive around the BIGGEST COLLEGE CAMPUS IN THE SOUTH without encountering people crossing the street. You know what dude? You didn’t even have to brake for us. We planned ahead, timing our illegal crossing activities so that no cars would be present. If I remember correctly, sir, YOU had just finished performing an ILLEGAL U-TURN when you became so indignant at US.  So we both actively participated in illegal activities. Great, we’re even. OH WAIT. Akshully, since you’re in a car, which weighs roughly half a ton, you did the more illegal thing! Suck on that.

You, sir, need to leave our fair city and go back to wherever it is you came from, because it obviously isn’t here.

Maintain the Resistance

2009 April 9
by stayoutofaustin

In order to facilitate quicker, permanent eradication of outsiders, it is important to enter any and all conversations armed and attractive.  Here are some sample dialogues to guide you through potential encounters with people who have recently moved here, are thinking of moving here, or just don’t get it.

Sample Dialogue A

You, native Austinite: Hey, what’s up?

Infiltrator: Hey, I just moved here. What’s the funnest thing I could do? (Smiles expectantly, clearly waiting for your excitement about their recent arrival to manifest itself outwardly).

You: Why did you move here?

Infiltrator: I don’t really know, I just heard it was a really great place!! It seems great so far.

You: We all have AIDS.

Sample Dialogue B

Infiltrator: Omg, this city is great. I love visiting, I should probably just move here.

You: You probably shouldn’t.  Traffic is terrible, the people are laaame, and we run over dogs for sport.

Infiltrator: Oh no! I have a Yorkie!

You: Fun.

Sample Dialogue C

Infiltrator: Hoooray I am in the Top 10% of my graduating class in NothingTown, Texas! I can finally move to Austin and live my dreams!

You: UT is full of liberal hippies that smoke marijuana and many of them aren’t God-fearing.

Infiltrator: Oh…on second thought, Southern Methodist will be just fine. Woot Dallas!

Sample Dialogue D

Infiltrator: I heard Austin’s housing market is a lot better than the rest of the nation. I’m thinkin’ about buying a house here.

You: We have really steep property taxes. Your first born child should suffice.

Infiltrator: Oh, I guess that’s okay. I have more than one.

You: And your Prius.

Infiltrator: (bolts)

I’m sorry I’m not your friend on Myspace but I can come to this coffee shop too you know…

2009 April 8
by hurricanehayly

I’m sorry I don’t have a Mac, a pack of Cloves, and an undeserved sense of entitlement little miss hipster sitting next to me at a coffee shop near campus. I’m also sorry that my shirt is not ridiculously neon and I don’t wear my glasses ironically. I can tell that my jeans and t-shirt offended your “unique” sensibilities as you sit at your table of similarly smug looking, over-eyelinered, asymmetrical haired hipster buddies.
Oh, shit, it’s not just your table it’s the entire fucking room.
I know that you’re just holding up in this coffee shop until you’re old enough to get in to Beauty Bar and judge people like an adult and get drunk off of Pabst Blue Ribbon and do lines in the bathroom.
I know that you got all dressed up to look dressed down and go out. It takes a lot of effort to look good without looking like you’re trying to look good. You pulled it off though, good job.
Yea, and I saw you whisper to your girlfriends as an older man with pleated brown pants and checked red and black shirt walked in. I saw how you giggled eyeing his obvious lack of color coordination. I guess its a defense mechanism you put on when you see people who genuinely are unique and don’t care what people think about them because you try your hardest to seem that way. You can judge people here in your safe little room of espresso sipping replicas.
You can keep your kind of cool, little miss hipster sitting next to me at a coffee shop near campus, no one else out of this room really cares what you think anyways.

Who’s Helping Austin

2009 April 7

Here at Stay Out of Austin, we feel that it is our duty to expose and embarrass the people and groups that are ruining our fair city. However, we also realize that there are many valiant efforts to stop the impending destruction of coolness and caring that this city is really about. This week, we focus in on one group doing its best to not only keep Austin awesome but to protect your personal liberties as well.
Texans for Accountable Government is a watchdog group consisting of several highly motivated Austinites whose prime goal is to “promote liberty by means of non-partisan local activism.”
You might recognize the group (tagtexas.org) as the organizer of the recent City Council Forum with Police Chief Art Acevedo to dicuss the vampire cops..err…I mean, the No Refusal blood withdrawals and DUI traffic stops. For those of y’all who missed it, City Hall was standing room only with (mostly) Austinites who opposed the forced blood withdrawals and wanted their voices heard!
If you want to get involved go to tagtexas.org and join!